Animal Liberation Front Attack Betting Firm Director
Mike Schipper in Cutlet, New Hertfordshire



The Animal Liberation Front (ALF) have claimed responsibility for a paint attack on a director of BetBalls, one of the UK's leading bookmakers.

Michael Manning (above), 46, was subjected to a vicious assault while playing Swingball in his garden with his wheelchair-bound teenage son last Friday.

"It was just a normal Friday and I was at home with my son. I don't work Fridays because I'm superstitious and wary of Friday 13th. As you know, Friday 13th can fall on any Friday of a given month, so it was agreed that I wouldn't ever work Fridays.

"I've been wary of Friday 13th ever since I witnessed my father bludgeon my mother to death on Thursday 22nd July 2002. I went round for Sunday lunch and the attack happened just as my mother was dishing up the peas. My father was hiding a rolling pin between his legs then used it to slowly poke her in the minge. That surprised her alright. She fell to the floor and I remember the peas rolling across the kitchen lino. So many peas. My father was 86 at the time and my mother was 82. My father, a chronic diabetic, was weak but the attack continued relentlessly into the days that followed.

"The coroner, upon examining my mother's body, said it must have been one of the slowest murders ever committed. I was quite offended by that because my father tried his best, so I had to explain about his age and the many medical problems he had - the diabetes, the arthritis, his elephantitis of the testicles etc, etc.

"So in short I don't work Fridays.

"Anyway, I was winning the Swingball match 20-0. I don't think Adam finds it easy in the wheelchair. (We've been playing for five years now and he's never taken a game off me.) He's too slow to react and often the ball ends up whacking him either side of his face. That can't be helped though."

The horrific attack saw sixteen masked ALF members scale the perimeter fence of the Manning's five-bedroom detached home in New Hertfordshire.

"I didn't hear them or see them until it was too late", said Mr Manning. "They found their way into the shed and that's where the paint attack occurred. I had five tins of apple blossom emulsion stacked neatly on a shelf, so they threw each one to the floor and started calling them names. It was very upsetting."

ALF contacted The New London Journal today and confessed to carrying out the attack. It came after the political group joined forces with the League Against Gambling (LAG) which wants to take a more militant stance against betting firms.

For the past two years LAG campaigns have focused on the anti-social nature of gambling with the slogan, 'Gambling Gets Your Goat!'. But recently they've expressed irritation at BetBalls' new online gambling competition, 'Gambling Gets You A Goat!', in which new customers can win a goat if they guess correctly the number of players from each side who will be fielded in a soccer match.

"We just found people were getting confused between the two," said LAG campaigner Martin Jones. "We had people attending anti-gambling rallies with the wrong slogan on placards, saying things like not only could you win a goat if you gambled, but you could win a hen too.

"One that I found particularly annoying was, 'Gambling Gets You're A Goat!', which doesn't even make sense. And even if it did make sense then why would we say to people 'You are a goat'?

"We even had a Greek tourist turn up who was terribly confused and had written 'I'll put a slow goat in your mouth' on his T-shirt. We didn't think that conveyed the right message at all.

"Last month we asked BetBalls very politely to change their slogan, but they refused, so that's when we decided to team up with the Animal Liberation Front. They've been ever so helpful, especially as they're busy with their own campaign to stop people from using the phrase, 'I've got a frog in my throat', because it misrepresents frogs - they never try to jump into peoples' throats. They're too big."

Police are combing the Manning's garden for evidence and are asking witnesses to come forward.
10:04 PM